Lately I've been chewing on the idea that everything in our lives flows from our deepest self-worth. But what exactly is self-worth? Where do we get our self-worth from? And what undermines our worthiness?
I bring this today because it might be an invaluable exercise for you to look at what areas of your life are presenting challenges, and get curious about whether deep down there might be some unworthiness at the heart of the problem.
Let's start by drawing the distinction between worthiness and deserving.
Worthiness is the inherent state of knowing ourselves to be valuable. It can be expressed simply in the phrase, "I AM good."
Deserving is the state of believing we have earned something good or valuable. It can be expressed simply in the phrase, "I DID good."
The feelings that arise from a lack of worthiness and a lack of deserving are also different. When we feel unworthy, we feel shame ("I am bad".) When we feel un-deserving, we feel guilt ("I did something bad.")
See the difference?
Mining for our deepest lack of worthiness or shame can be difficult because it's often invisible to us. Feeling shame and unworthiness are not pleasant so we suppress them.
What do you stand to gain by exploring this?
I believe that by finding the areas in our lives where we feel unworthy allows us to heal the core wounds (whether they are our own or we inherited them) and discover a WHOLE NEW level of self-worth previously unknown to us.
Tapping into the deepest wellspring of self-worth that lies within us, brings us into a state of grace...
and it cracks us open to allow ourselves to receive all forms of goodness with ease.
But just how exactly do we access this wellspring of self-worth?
I know 2 pathways that work really well for me. So let me share both with you.
The first path is to explore where we feel unworthy, and dissolve the limiting beliefs that keep us feeling unworthy.
You can start by exploring what areas of your life are presenting challenges right now, and be curious as to whether you feel worthy or receiving "crazy good" in that area. Alternatively, you can also start by looking at what where in your life do you feel "not good enough".
Where are you not good enough or deficient?
- In your friendships?
- In your family?
- In your housekeeping?
- In relationship?
- In your profession? Your job? Certain projects?
- In your earth citizenship? In your community?
- In your finances?
- In your self-care?
Once you find the words for the beliefs that you are not good enough, or not worthy of incredible goodness in a certain area of your life, you can dissolve those believes. I typically dissolve limiting beliefs with EFT, encodement work and/or NLP.
The second path I know is to access the inner wellspring of worthiness directly. How? Either through meditation, or through reading the teachings of spiritual teachers such as Eckhart Tolle or The Course In Miracles.
Here are two great videos that touch on worthiness:
- Here, Eckhart Tolle speaks about self-esteem, ego and worthiness. This is really good.
- In this one, Brene Brown says worthiness is not dependent on any qualities or characteristics you possess. Worthiness simply IS.
You are worthy of all magnitude of greatness already.
You are worthy simply because you exist.
You don't have to earn it. You don't have to do anything to become worthy.
What keeps you (and all of us) from feeling magnificently worthy are the limiting beliefs that arise from either inherited patterns from our family, OR from life experiences in which we judge ourselves harshly.