Have you ever had a time in your life when you felt like everything was going wrong?
Yeah? Me too.
In fact, without going into details, things have been a bit rough in the Morella World lately. After a series of intense challenges -including the unexpected passing of a dear uncle- I now find myself in a forced extended stay in Venezuela.
Long story short, what was supposed to be a 9-day trip for my uncle's funeral has turned into 24 days. And if you're wondering why; it's essentially hurricane Irma's fault, compounded by a VERY short supply of flights in and out of Venezuela.
You might think it's ridiculous to start crying when the American Airlines agent breaks the news that you'll be staying an extra 11 days. But that's what happened.
The weeks of mounting stress, grief and exhaustion found an outlet in my tears. I sobbed.
But then after 10 minutes or whatever it was... I took a deep breath and I reminded myself of my favorite question. It's one I've shared with you before:
What if this is the BEST thing that could be happening?
All of it. Not just the flights... this is an invitation to surrender.
Surrendering into that question immediately starts to pull you out of resistance. And resistance is where suffering happens.
If you watched my Facebook Live a couple of weeks ago, I talked about floating with the waves that life presents to you. This question helps you pick up your feet and start floating.
What if this is the BEST thing?
When we ask this question, inevitably a miracle occurs. In this case, even though I'm not sure what the miracle will be, I can already extract two possible positives: (1) It gives me an opportunity to build my remote-working muscle; and (2) It allows me to again visit a children's home that I have started to support. It'll be sweet to see the children again.
But here's what we could call an additional "Pro tip"...
When life is a mess on the outside, the quickest path to shift it is by looking inside.
When life presents me with a barrage of less-than-great experiences, I quickly turn and look at myself and ask, what in the world are you doing with your energy?
Because the biggest source of challenges, suffering and conflict is our inner resistance to what is.
Even in healing our bodies, there is a dramatic difference between acts that are loving, caring and nurturing towards oneself, and acts that come from a place of wanting to fix what's wrong. The first set brings about TRUE healing; the latter usually fails to create the healing we want.
This applies to every area of life.
It's your resistance that slows your progress.
It's resistance that keeps you magnetized to experiences that are not what you want.
How does one create resistance and how does one stop it?
Resistance emerges in many ways, but here are a few:
- Insisting on one single outcome as the only one you want and nothing else is acceptable.
- Focusing on the absence of what you want rather than the presence of what you have.
- Throwing an inner tantrum about what is.
Take a minute to look at an area of your life where things are not exactly as you want them.
Really. Take a minute to think of something.
Now go back and read those three bullet points above and ask yourself which of those you might be doing.
If you pay close attention, you'll notice that in any area of your life that isn't quite so great, there's a good chance you're in one of those three states.
You're in a resistance vibration to some degree. We all do this... except those who have mastered the art of allowing.
I bet you now want to know how to change your resistance?
Ha ha... resisting the resistance... Our fix-it mindset wants to fix the resistance!
The best approach is to not try to fix it but be with it.
The simplest way is to breathe and witness it. Observe it. This is what Eckhart Tolle calls witnessing the Pain Body. When you do, the intensity of the resistance starts to dissipate. You cease to identify with your Pain Body/resistance and instead become the observer.
Another way is to use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). It's a great tool that does not attempt to change the experience but rather begins simply by witnessing.
This morning I spent some extra time in my meditation practice. Breathing, observing and surrendering to what is. Finding peace in this moment and loving this moment.
I'm no longer resisting being here until the 24th. This presents some real work challenges I'll have to sort out, but I am no longer throwing an inner tantrum. I'm surrendering and trusting it'll get resolved in the best way possible.
Join me for a deeper conversation on how forgiveness is a powerful catalyst for transmuting resistance and big challenges.
This free evening call will be on September 26th. It'll be an intimate chat that will immediately start to shift how you're experiencing a current challenge... Any challenge whether it's old or new!
See you then :) <3